The Protectors, Book 1: Reality Warp
by Karma's Best Friend
Summary: HIATUS PENDING REMOVAL
1. Huh?

A/N: Into the Woods will not be updating! I kinda lost the drive to write it, so I decided to focus on other things. Like this!

Calvin tiptoed quietly through the woods, trying not to be seen. He, Sam, Plato, and Hobbes were playing capture the flag. He was so close to the flag, he could practically taste it! He could see Plato guarding his and Sam's flag! _ Like a mouse,_ thought Calvin._ Just like a- what the heck?_ God knows how, but Calvin had somehow turned himself into a mouse.

Meanwhile, Hobbes had Sam and was taking her back to the prison on his side of the woods. The only problem was that she had latched onto a tree branch and was refusing to let go. "Come on, Sam!" grunted Hobbes, tugging as hard as he could. Suddenly, Sam literally split in half, a second copy of her emerging from her feet. "Yeek!" yelped Hobbes dropping the copy of Sam "Ouch!" the second Sam said. "Do you mind?"

"What the- _insert swearword here_- is going on?" screamed Sam. "Sam! said Hobbes. "Do NOT swear like that!" Sam was getting rather hysterical, and she started screaming at Hobbes** "YOU ARE TELLING ME NOT TO SWEAR WHEN I JUST- JUST- JUST CLONED MYSELF!"**

Meanwhile, Calvin the mouse was approaching the space where he could heard Sam screaming. _Ok, how do I get out of the mouse? Maybe if I focus on Calvin, I'll turn back into me! _He proceeded to do that and with a sigh of relief, he turned back into Calvin _I can't wait to show Sam!_

Sam was thinking at the clone: _Go away go awa- _when it disappeared, literally in a puff of smoke. "Ok, Sam, this is SO COOL." "How, Calvin?" "It's scary." "But we both have superpowers!" "You have superpowers too?" I can turn into animals!" "Calvin, we should tell our parents about this. It's not normal!" "Well you're probably right." "So, let's go!" As they ran home, Calvin stooped to grab Sam and Plato's flag. He ran across the border and yelled "WE WIN!" Plato sighed, scooped him up and kept running, with Calvin's angry cries trailing after him. "HEY! PUT ME DOWN, YOU OVERGROWN, SMELLY, POP-EYED ROACH MOTEL!"

This, of course, led to a fight "Roach motel, am I? Chowderhead!" OW! Stop biting, you walking flea condo!" Hobbes, pull my finger!" Hobbes gave Sam a funny look. "Pull your-?" "DO IT!" Hobbes obliged, and another clone popped out of her side. With the clone in tow, she strode over to where Calvin and Plato were rolling around on the ground. "Ok, break it up, you two." She pulled them off each other- and they went flying in opposite directions! Sam's clone caught Calvin, but Plato went flying into a tree! "Ok, what now?" grumbled Sam. "Ohh…… That hurt……" Suddenly, the tree that Plato had crashed into started to quake. Two knots on either side of the tree trunk morphed into eyes, and rip opened in the trunk of the tree. "Hey, said Calvin, that sorta reminds me of the snow goons. Do you think it's friendly?" "ROARRRR!" "Guess not! Run!" shouted Sam, and everybody took off in the vague direction of home.

"Whoa, you guys are out of breath!' commented Dad from an armchair in the living room. "Yeah……we…..ran…….home…….phewww…." Sam tromped into the kitchen, where she promptly pulled two bottles of water from the fridge. "I say we call an emergency meeting of G.R.O.S.S in the Box of Secrecy upstairs!" Why can't we do it outside?" "It's too dangerous what with those mutant trees running around! We need to do it in here! Plus, I poked some air holes." When they were all in the box, Calvin started the meeting. "I will now take a roll call of those present. Grand Treasurer Secretary Sam? "Here, Dictator- for- Life Calvin" "Presiedent Hobbes?" "Here" "Senator Chief Sherrif Plato?" "Here""Okay. Our first point of business is-!


	2. AUUUGH!

A/N: Hi! Sorry about the lateness, so to make up for it a really long chapter! (By my standards, anyway)

Sam and Calvin had wandered off the topic of the weird things going on, and onto the topic of whether Coco Mega Blasts were better or worse than Atomic Frosted Sugar Bombs. Suddenly, there was loud bang, and a blast of light. "Woah!" shouted Sam, falling off the bed and onto Plato and Hobbes. The light, after the initial blast, remained steady, and soon they were able to look at it. And coming out of the light was………

"No way" whispered Calvin. "It can't be" said Hobbes. "But it is….." murmured Sam. Stepping out of the light were older, gray haired and furred versions of Sam, Calvin and Plato! Chaos, as you would imagine, rapidly ensued. "OH MY-!" "WHAT THE HEC-!"

"SHUT UP!" roared the older version of Sam, with a surprising voice for someone of her age.

"Here's the skinny, kids. In the future, almost everything is gone. Trees are extinct, so is grass, and even most of the people. We believe this change was brought about by things being moved around in time. We don't know why ." "So what do you want us to do about it? And where's Hobbes?" Calvin was surprised to see a tear streak down his doppelganger's cheek. "Died, years ago. Saving me" "Oh……." After a moment, Sam asked again "So what do you want us to do?" "We need you to fix time."

"But why us? Why not someone else?" "Look at us. Were old, gray, we can barely stand up anymore. You kids have better technology. Our time machine barely got us here. Speaking of which, can you take us back?" asked Calvin 2.

"Sure. Here are some goggles, and hold on a sec. We need to do some mission prep. Spearpoon?" "Got it" said Calvin, pulling out what looked like a javelin, but could be changed into a spear or retractable harpoon at the touch of a button. "Duplicate me some of those, O.K? Pocket hypercube? "Check check." "What?" "One check for each cube." replied Calvin as he began to sort the newly duplicated spearpoons into the cubes. "All we need is the mini transmogrifyer and the first aid kit, and we are set." "All systems go, captain."

Sam transmogrified to box larger to be able to hold all of them, and then asked her older counterpart "What time?" "2058."

ZAP!

"AUGHHH! PULL UP PULL UP!" The passengers of the box were heading at great speed right into a rock face! Several dinosaurs looked around as the machine streaked past them "WRONG TIME! BAIL OUT! AUUUUGH!" Quickly, Sam hit the button. When they were safely back in the time stream, Calvin started to berate her. "What the HECK happened?" Sorry, I got distracted!" Well, pay attention this time!" "Stop yelling at me! At least it wasn't the eighth dimension! Hobbes, Plato, the tuna is in Calv's cube." "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

Finally, they popped into the right time, and Sam extended the wings. "Motor: On." said the automated pilot said, and Sam took the yoke. Calvin gasped as he looked out of the plane's canopy, which had formed when the box turned into the small vehicle. The sky was a blood red color, and what little vegetation there was black and charred. They were now passing over a city. The buildings were rubble, and they could see several people staring up at the flying box.

"Okay, land her here." directed Calvin 2. Sam touched down in front of a slightly crumbly building, one of the few still upright. Sam 2 pushed the canopy open, got out, and punched a quick code into a door. It whooshed open. "Sam!" yelled an elderly woman running over to her and hugging her. It was Calvin's Mom. Following behind her was Calvin's dad, in a wheelchair. He was missing a leg. "Mom, Dad, I brought somebody who might be able to help us." Calvin stepped aside and let the two younger kids be seen.


	3. Oh No!

A/N: Grrah, I started this and then it got closed! Oh well. And for the purposes of this story, Calvin and Spaceman Spiff are different entites due to the splinter.

"Oh my........." said Mom, trailing off slowly. She stared for a moment, then gave them the tightest hug they had ever recived in their entire life. Pretty strong, for an old woman. Sam and Calvin 2 winced as the jarring memories entered their heads. "Mom! Let up! You're squishing, err, err, us, I think." Mom looked down to see Calvin and Sam turning blue fron the force of her hug. "Graaah....." said Calvin, panting. "Sorry, dears! Cybernetic implants do take a little getting used to, you know." "Uhhh......Right."

Calvin 2 interupted the chitchatter, asking "Mom, we're just here for some provisions. We need to work on the PROBLEM." As he said the former, he made a gesture towards the bloody sky. Calvin's mom blinked and said "Sure, dears. The usual?" "Yep."

After a short period of time, Mom came out with a hovering orb following behind her. In it was packs and packs of freeze dried food, not that gross ice cream candy stuff but real dinners, like spaghetti and meatballs. "Here you go. Will you be careful out there with these young kids? You know, if something happens to them, it'll either make you dissapear or maim you. "We know, Mom." Sam said gravley. "They have weapons of their own."

A couple hours later, Mom 2 was watching the box take off. She knew that the occupants couldn't see her, but she waved anyway.

---Underground- Evil Lair- 2008 A.D.----

Deep underground, things that were better left unseen were lurking. Currently,one was being berated by his captian. "I want those pests TERMINATED as soon as they get out of the Warp Stream! Do you hear me, Ooshalmeck? TERMINATED! And take theur parents, too. " "Aye Aye, sir." gulped Ooshlameck, or Oosh, fearfully into the microphone. Call: Terminated flashed across the screen as his superior hung up. As he turned to make the proper arangements for the termination of our heros, he mused to himself "I wonder what's so important about these human's that the boss would make a call worth 30 gerzlems a second."

---Orbit- Alien Space Station- 2008 A.D ---

"Sir!" one of the aliens on board the orbiting ship said. "Yes?" asked their captian, fixing the unfortunate slug with a beady glare. "It had better be good, Zloob. I just got off the link with that COMPLETE IDIOT Ooshlameck." "There appears to be a small red ship on the monitor, Your High Vileness." "WHAT!" The poor, poor piolet was ripped out of his crash webbing and thrown to one side. Indeed, the monitor showed a red ship rapidly approaching. "ARRRGH! CONFOUND THAT SPACEMAN SPIFF! SEND ALL OUR BEST FIGHTERS! NOW!"

---Approaching Terran Orbit, 2008 A.D---

Spaceman Spiff hissed as a bolt of frappe ray brushed his ship, sending a charge through his body. Bringing her around, he shot the two Bug fighters that has been sneaking up on him. Or trying to, anyway."Darn it! These fighter are all coming out of the Alien Space Station...... AARGGGHHH!" Spiff was hit! HE spiraled rapidly tward Earth, the Bug fighters moving away as he freefalled to his doom......

Or so they thought. In reality, Spiff was attempting to land. The smoke and flames coming from his ship were a dieversion, to make the fighters think he was not going to see the day end. Spiff leveled out. If he'd never been here before, then why did the house beneath his look so familliar?

---Warp Stream, Time unkown---

"So you're sure the first thing is in our house?" "Yup. Either in it or near to it." "Can't we track it?" "We can when we goet out of the Warp." "Speaking of which....." Sam pulled the box over to the proper exit. BRRRZZAAP! They apperaed over their house....And saw Spaceman Spiff fighting of tree monsters! 


	4. Good vs Bad Part 1

A/N: Thanks go to stripesgetoffme for the reviews! I will give cookies to whoever can catch the Harry Potter reference. Also, sorry if the tense is a little shaky during Spiff's POV,

Sam immediately popped the canopy of the plane. "Hold on!" she yelled, aiming a spearpoon at the willow tree that was threatening to whomp Spiff into a small puddle with goggles. She set it to boxing glove, and using her super strength, hurled it. The weapon went straight through the willow, and partway through an unfortunate ash that was behind it.

---Spiff's POV---

I was getting desperate. The tree goons were everywhere, closing in on me, and no matter how many I cleared with my frappe ray, there were always two more to take its place. Just as things started to look bleak, I heard a yell behind me. "Hold on!" I spun around and saw seven people approaching me in a flying cardboard box! Or maybe I should say four people, since three of them were clearly animals. The girl in front had a javelin, raised and ready to throw. As I watched, she hit a button on the javelin's shaft. "INCOMING!" she yelled. "Zounds!" As I dropped to the grass and covered my head, I coud hear a loud CRACK! I looked up, and observed that the….weapon, lets call it, had gone right through the willow and loged in the tree behind it.

---Normal POV---

Sam brought the box into a skidding landing, sending dirt and rock everywhere. Bloodthirsty trees, all intent on hurting them, quickly fenced them in. "Calvin," instructed Sam, in a voice of icy calm, "Fly up to our window and drop down the claws and my suit, NOW." Calvin nodded, to scared to speak, and swiftly transformed.

He flew up to the bedroom window as a hawk, changed into a sparrow to fit through the narrow crack, and found Sam's hero costume on her bed. She had made it herself, and it featured metal gauntlets. The suit itself was armored in some places, and a strong yet flexible Kevlar fiber made up the rest. To complete the super hero look, it came with a mask. The "claws" were also an invention of Sam's: two pairs of fingerless gloves, with metal claws that would fit over the two feline's extended claws.

He then had a quick debate over whether to wear his old costume or his new costume, and swiftly chose his new one, another masterpiece of Sam's. It was blue, with a long cape and boots. A simple domino mask* and a large yellow C on the front finished it off. Calvin tipped everthing out the window, then jumped after it.

*A domino mask is a mask that covers the eves and the area in between but nothing else.


	5. Good vs Bad Part 2: A Helping Hand

A/N: As predicted, stripesgetoffme wins. I say predicted because he's the only person who ever reviews at all. Oh well. At least SOMEBODY likes it. Please vote for Moe's superpowers on my poll!

---Hobbes's POV---

I ducked, feeling a tree swing a branch right over my head. Spiff covered me, shooting his space ray thing at the tree, but was swatted away and into the side of our house. That had to hurt. Just then, I head Calvin yell "INCOMING!" Something hard and metal hit me in the side of the head. I picked it up and discovered it was my claws! "Yes!" I cheered, slipping the gloves on. I spun and hit a larch, ripping a large gash in its side. I followed up with a huge, double-pawed uppercut. Woodchips sprayed everywhere, and with a groan the tree toppled.

By now, the fight was spreading into the inanimate trees in the backyard. Taking this advantage, I jumped into one and looked around. I could see Sam, wreaking havoc with her metal-patched gloves. A little ways off, Plato's 1 and 2 were fighting back to back. Calvin the Dinosaur, with Spiff riding him, was a ways off. Suddenly, I felt a thorny vine wrap around my middle, dangling me in from of the biggest tree goon yet.

"HELLLLP!" I yelled, and I was expecting to be eaten any minute. I had closed my eyes when I heard a heroic cry: "Did somebody call for help?"

---Sam's POV---

I was crunching my way through a spruce when I heard Hobbes cry for help. I spun, ready to fight, and saw him in the grasp of a tree goon that was many times bigger than the others- it almost outstripped the house! I ran toward it, but was knocked on my kester by a flash of crimson that blew by me, heading straight for the goon.

---Normal POV---

The crimson bolt hung in the air, resolving itself to be a person about as tall as Sam. He was wearing a crimson cowl and cape, paired with a suit that was also crimson with yellow piping and a yellow and red belt. "Never fear, Stupendous Man is here!" crowed he, smashing into a larch. "Stupe! Finally!" shouted Spiff, jumping off Calvin's scaly back. "I though you would never come!" "Of course I would come, buddy. I got your distress call." "Well, now that were all here, WOULD YOU PLEASE GET ME DOWN BEFORE THIS ABOREAL MENACE EATES ME!?!"

Everyone jumped guiltily. They had forgotten Hobbes! "On it, buddy!" shouted Plato, and, jumping from tree to tree, he approached the goon. "Ha ha ha! You think you can save you friend going that slowly?" asked the tree, a smirk appearing on its barky face. "I'll eat him before you're halfway there!" He teasingly dangled Hobbes above his maw, swinging him back and forth. Faster than Sam's eyes could track, Stupendous Man was on the move. He grabbed the unconscious Hobbes and, using his super strength; broke the vine wrapped around is middle. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" roared the tree, grabbing the caped hero with surprising speed for a knotted up piece of foliage.

But what he didn't notice was pterodactyl Calvin carrying Sam, who was carrying Spiff, coming up behind. At least not until Sam swung a booted foot into its back. "GRRAH!" it yelled ,dropping Stupendous, unconscious, in a bush. 'WHO DID THAT?' " I did! You let go of my friends and come take it like a, err, tree!" She picked up a heavy log and took a fighting stance.

"Heh. So naive. Listen, girl, fighting me will result in your death. You cannot hope to best me. You can only perish trying."

---Susie's POV---

Mr. Bun and I were having a tea party, and I heard some weird noises coming from

Calvin's house. They were pretty loud, so I went to investigate, leaving Mr. Bun behind.

As I walked down the street, I saw an unusually large amount of trees. I mean, its not like there wasn't trees there before, but they were...moving? I unconsciously sped up when I heard yelling, and pretty soon I was in a dead sprint.

I rounded the corner to see a ring of living trees. In the circle was a really, really big ode, and Sam, a short guy with a laser gun, and Calvin were attacking it, Another guy wearing a hood, cape and a superhero suit was lying unconscious in a bush, next to Calvin's stuffed tiger, Hobbes. _Hmmm, I could help with that…_ I popped back into my house, using my ability to teleport, and grabbed my baseball bat. I had a feeling I was going to need it.

---Normal POV---

Susie ran into action. While Calvin and Sam were keeping the tree's attention, she teleported over to where Stupendous Man was lying. Quickly, she fells for injuries, and registers that he has one broken rib, a couple of cracked ribs, and a concussion. "Hoo boy. If that bush wasn't there, you be a lot worse." She laid a hand on his ribs, only to have another grip her wrist. She looked up, and Stupendous was awake. His eyes were glazed, and there was a trickle of blood coming from the corner on his mouth.

Susie gently untangled the hand from her wrist; then started the healing process for his ribs. "Okay, that should do it." Just then, Stupendous man awoke. "Ooohg…. what happened?" "I don't know, but I healed your ribs and that knot on he back of your head. How do you feel?" "Crummy. I have a migraine like you wouldn't believe" "I bet. You had a huge knot on your head."

Just then Sam screamed for help! Both Stupendous and Susie spun around, and found her to be cornered by the Giant Goon!


End file.
